I am me once more October 10, 2009

Do you ever get lost in life? Lost your way back, lived a half-dead life or even can’t recognise who you are anymore? Occasionally, I thought that getting drunk is a good way of forgetting our problems temporarily. And, it’s just temporarily only but honestly it really makes you feel good for that moment.

I used to smile no matter how difficult life is. I used to laugh like no one’s business despite encountering stumbling blocks daily. I used to crack silly jokes and mimic people and that was really my part-time job. I know I always set aside pain in order to laugh. That was me. I never forget that me.

Just that things changes along the way and that part of me was being hidden in the closet.

But now, I dare to yell  out to the world that “I AM ME ONCE MORE”!

Never lose yourself, bL!nk$t@R.

Satay @ Kajang October 10, 2009

I need to make a confession. I’m obsessed with satays. The satay at Kajang was scrumptious enough to make our saliva drooling down and it did lived up to its name. After all, the distance ain’t a problem and the congested road provide us a chance to mingle more.

What’s life without good food?, bL!nk$t@R.

You or me October 1, 2009

I used to thought

you are the one and only

But I was wrong

as you are just a passerby facing me

-

I know I can’t forget

what had happened

All the promises

my mind reads aloud

whenever I open my eyes each day

-

I’m working hard to forget

to wash away those memories that don’t belongs to me

But honestly

the heart still wants to remain some of it

-

I want you to know

On this road

Someone has to go

And it will be me

-

Inside this photo

there could only be one

It’s either you or me

-

I’m moving on.., bL!nk$t@R.

Read my mind September 29, 2009

Whenever it’s time to cut my hair, I will be standing at the crossroad. For me, it has always been a dilemma to find the perfect saloon. I ended up saloon-hopping.

A hairstylist that reads our minds because I’m sick of explaining. A hairstylist that understands what suits us. And perhaps, someone who makes small talk with us. That’s what I’m looking for. Pretty demanding, isn’t it?

But, I think I’ve found mine.

I’ve realised that it do takes time to see the good within something or someone. We just have to wait for the flower to bloom and we shall keep coming back for more.

A small talk does make me happy, bL!nk$t@R.

Turquoise September 27, 2009

After both trips to the highland and island, I reaffirm my love towards the sky. I never knew I love the sky that much until my trip to both places which enabled me to witness the different formation of clouds and helped to redefine the colour of blue. You know you love something when you truly enjoy it. Thanks to life, I’m here to experience the marvels of nature.

Truth be told, I missed camping during high school. Not only it’s the time when I gain a few days of freedom, but also a chance for me to be one step closer to mother nature. During those days, I never really give the wonders of nature a second thought. Only the smell of forest lingers in my mind and that was sufficient to make my day. Walking, eating and sleeping in the jungle was a superb experience. I want more.

As time passes, my interest towards the environment grows and championing green issues has become a great past time. The thought of backpacking alone has been on my mind lately. One thing for sure, I’m so desperate to hug a tree.

The tree in my heart has grown taller and it needs more air, water and sunshine to nourish the soul..

When blue meets green, bL!nk$t@R.

One of the best sleeps ever September 22, 2009

That night, I had one of my best sleeps ever. Because I decided to draw the finish line and because I know I should not continue to mess up my life and let fate  to ruin my own future. It’s a full stop.

That past, is not allowed to park under my life anymore. Erasing the memory is not what I ask for. The key thing here is, I want to move on whether I forget or not. Work is in progress.

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. In the pursuit of current life, my dreams almost went missing. I can’t imagine the fact that one day I woke up and realise that I no longer have dreams, not even a single one. In fact, the dreams are always there. It’s just that I took a different route and lost my way. Fortunately, there is a u-turn along the road and I’m on my way back. Thank God, I made the turn. Otherwise, I will fall deeper into the bottomless hole and maybe never get back to where I suppose to be.

No doubt, I’m suppose to be where I am right now regardless of what had happened. It’s not a mistake, no regrets.

Waking up with hope, bL!nk$t@R.

Hamlet September 16, 2009

Shakespeare, finally I got a glimpse of it. The 2 hours Hamlet drama was staged at KL Performing Arts Center. It was about revenge and love. I was amazed by the main character’s ability to memorise his lines. Mind you, it’s a very long one and he speaks so damn fast. There are parts that I couldn’t understand what are those characters uttering esepcially with those heavy accents. I know I have to buck up on my English literature. Despite all this, it was a good show though.

venturing into Shakespeare, bL!nk$t@R.

Inner battle September 8, 2009

A terrible week passed me by. It seems that I’ve wasted my life during that week after watching an inspirational movie about life and death. Life is too short. Life screams by. By the time we notice it, most of the things had gone.

I felt silly for dwelling on the past and allows it to come back and hurt me even more. It’s sad and wets the eyes. The present made available some spaces for the past to continue . Because of the lack of courage. The courage to do something about it.

It’s clear in my mind that I know what to do. Everything is not vague. Most of the time we are so busy battling with our inner self that we have no time to act.  We focused on the wrong thing. It’s a blunder that we know we shall not repeat and yet doing it again.

I swear to live an even better life.

Going to stop battling with my inner self, bL!nk$t@R.

ad+mark mag August 30, 2009

Lately, I’ve been flipping through this “advertising+marketing” magazine whenever I’m shaking my legs. So far, I’ve read 5 issues. It’s filled with marketing terms and readers are being exposed to the different aspects of the industry. There is still a long way to go for me to fully understand it. Honestly, one thing did change. My admiration for the industry’s top guns grows day by day. Even for the young and talented ones too. Let alone the fact that they are high earners. You can see the fiery passion burning in them. That’s what I like the most.

Almost famous, bL!nk$t@R.

Bottomless August 28, 2009

I’m like you. And, you are just like me. There are times that I don’t even know whether what I’m thinking is right or not and whether what I’m dreaming will come true. To the extend that I dream consciously every night before sleep. I giggled. I smiled.

The dream may just shatter on the next morning you wake up. Your mind go blank. You stare into space. You lose hope. You just want to know why. Sadly, no one can give you the answer.

I always ask myself. How far would I go for certain things in life? I was so afraid that I will step into a bottomless hole and can never get back to where I am now.

There are things that are not in the field of our control. It’s not like you work hard then you will achieve success. A sense of uncertainty fills the air. At times, you can’t even see where you are going. It’s just too misty.

“See how first”, bL!nk$t@R.